Chitika

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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

HOT Dirty / Non VEG Collection 4

HOT Dirty / Non VEG Collection 4



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Nurse-Mubarak Ho Aap k Ghar Beta Paida Hua He.
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Sardar-o terii.. Kya Technology He Biwi Hospital Me He Aur Bachcha Mere Ghar Paida huwa He.


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Man2 RA.ND-Kya baat hai CH-UT pe 1 b BAAL Nahi hai?
R-MAA K LO-UDE, Tu 1000 Kharch Karke Yaha Mujhe CHO-DNE Aaya hai Ya CH-UT pe KANGI Karne

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Kele wala: Kele Lelo

Lady: are bhaiya kele to pilpile hai, kadak or lambe do


Kele wala: Are Madam,kabhi to khane k liye le liya karo !

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Class me bacha-Madam mera shoe tight krdo
Mam-Nhi Haramkor tu fir mere buObs dekega?
B-No Madam abki bar to clas walo ko apkiGAnNd dikani H

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Son:Papa mummy k 2 & Cow ke 4kyu?

Papa:Mdrchhod kaha s sikh k aya
Beta:Mai to legs k bat kr rhahu apko to din rat sirf Buobs hi dikhti h

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MALLIKA B_R@@@_
me
B000oooBS kaise dalti hai?
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Bas Aise hi

Da_ba_D_a_ba k..

Friday, 2 September 2011

DIWALI SMS cOLLection 2

DIWALI SMS collection 2


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Wishing good health,
more wealth,
quiet peace,
big fame
deep love,
sweet feelings,
true dreams and best regards in your life

Happy Diwali

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Apako ashirwad mile Ganesh se.
Vidya mile Saraswati se.
Pyaar mile Sab se.
Diwali ke avasar par,
Yahi duwa hai is dil se.

Happy Diwali

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Laxmi aayegi itni ki sab jagah naam hoga,
Din raat vyapar bade itna adhik kaam hoga,
Ghar pariwar samaj me banoge sartaj,
Yehi kamna hai hamari aap ke liye
Diwali ki Dhero Shubh Kamanaye.

Happy Diwali

Santa Banta SMS

Santa Banta SMS


Santa :- jaldi ek cold drink de, ladai hone wali hai..
Shop Keeper :- lo !
Santa :- jaldi ek or de, ladai hone wali hai...
Shopkeeper :- lekin ladai kab hogi...
Santa :-jab tu paise maangega tab.

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How do you convert a BUS into a female ?? SANTA Come late to the bus stop..BUS MISS ho Jaayegi.

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once SANTA stopped a fight stil he was punished y?coz the fight he stopped was a boxing match

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Maths teacher was teaching mathematical conversions..
TeacheR:
If 1000 kgs=ton then 3000 kgs equal how much ?
Santa: Ton.! Ton.!Ton.!..

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How do you convert a BUS into a female ??
SANTA :
Come late to the bus stop..BUS MISS ho Jaayegi.

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Why does Sardarji cleans the wall with an EAR BUD?Guess...! sochooo.......KYUNKI.....diwaron ke bhi kaan hote hai....

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Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?
Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.
Sir:Wo Kaise?
Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!

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In a maths eXam everyone was writing except SANTA was dancing. Y..?because someone told him that there is marks for every step

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Hindi teacher asks:Kaal Kitne prakaar K hote hain?
SANTA answers:Local Kaal, STD Kaal, Trunk Kaal, ISD kaal & the famous "sastria Kaal"

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SantaBanta: What is a Sindhi called who falls from : 1st floor - Thadani. 17th floor - Kriplani. 30th floor - Marjani.

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once SANTA stopped a fight stil he was punished y?coz the fight he stopped was a boxing match

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SANTA- I saw my wife going to movie with watchman Friend- Didn't U follow them? SANTA- No yaar, I have already seen that movie..!

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Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!Santa: Subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

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Sardar 1: mene apne bete ka naam america rakha hai.Sardar 2: kyu?Sardar 1: me duniya ko batana chahta hu ki me america ka baap hu...|

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Sardar watching TV with Wife Wife "If Edison wouldn't had invented Power, Wht would U have done?"Sardar"I would have watch TV with candle

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A sardar had a child aftr 3 mnth of marige.He askd his wife ye 3mnth k bad bacha kaise hua?Wife replied:tmhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?Srdar:3month.wife:or meri shadi ko.Srdar:3mnthwife:or bacha kitne month k baad.Srdar:3 mnth.Wife:total kitne hue.

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1st sardar:yaar tum nay apni biwi ko talaq kyon di?2nd sardar:yaar woh bari character less thi shaadi mujh say aur bacha bhagwan say mangti thi.

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A sardarji went 2 a STD PCO ISD shop n slapped the operator twice ....guess why? cuz der it was witten...'number dial karne se pehele do lagae'..!

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3pupil were going on motorcycle,policeman give hand to stop.Santa shouted-oye pagal pahle hi 3 baithay tuje kaha baithe ga.

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A girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji.. Girl- sardarji, mein tumhari nakal marloo..! Sardar- ahoo, tu meri nakal maar lay, fir mein teri asal maarta hu…

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Santa : People consider me as "God"Banta : How do you know??Santa : When I went to the park today,everybody said, Oh God! Uve come again.

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Santa-Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta. Frnd-Fir Tune kya kiya? Santa-Mene unse kaha salo 1-1 karke Aao. Frnd-Phir? Santa-Phir kya,Salo ne 1-1 karke dubara Peeta !.

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Fakir to SANTA ke Padosi ne Pet bhar Ke khana khilaya he, Aap bhi Kuch khilao.SANTA Ye Lo HAJMOLA…

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SANTA enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

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Sardar after throwing his mobile in water 'Aa aa upar aa?' Frnd: Arre,pani me mobile feka to wo upar kaise aaega?Sardar:Oye, kyun nahi aaega....Dolphin hai jump bhi marega!!

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A studnt atachd Rs.100 Note 2 his test paper & wrote Re.1 for 1 mark, Sardar was paper checker; He sent him Rs.66 back & wrote-U got 34 mark

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A lady was kissing a lion inside a cage in circus.Ring master- Can anyone do it? SANTA:-main aata hun par pehle sher ko to hatao.

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SANTA witnessed an accident & rushed to assist the driver of a car who's seriously injured. Pulling him out of the wreakage, the driver said with breathing difficulty, "Please..call me..ambulance".SANTA replied "Ok, ok Ambulance . . . !

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In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it"s loss or profit? SANTA Profit in rupees & loss in paise

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SANTA sukhe khet mein boat chala raha tha BANTA-aise SARDARO ne hi SARDARO ka naam kharab kiya hai,agar mujhe swimming aati to jakar use bahut marta